Christmas is meant to be a joyful, memory-making time for children. But for separated parents, holiday arrangements can quickly become stressful — especially if the agreed parenting schedule isn’t being followed.
If your ex won’t stick to the Christmas parenting schedule, you’re not alone.
December is one of the busiest times of the year for family law disputes, and emotions are often heightened. The good news? There are steps you can take to calmly and constructively manage the situation.
Here’s what you need to know about what to do if your ex won’t stick to the Christmas parenting schedule.
What To Do If Your Ex Won’t Stick to the Christmas Parenting Schedule
1. Start With Clear, Calm Communication
Before assuming the worst, try to clarify what’s happened. Misunderstandings can be all-too common during the holiday rush.
A simple message like: “Just checking in about today’s arrangements — can you confirm the pick-up time we agreed on?” can help reset expectations without creating conflict.
Approach the conversation in a neutral tone, avoid accusations, and keep everything in writing where possible.
2. Revisit the Parenting Plan or Court Orders
Check the wording of your agreed parenting plan, consent orders, or court orders:
- Do they clearly outline Christmas Day or holiday arrangements?
- Are there specific times, dates, or locations listed for the holiday period?
- Is there room for (mis)interpretation?
If orders apply, they must be followed, unless there is a further agreement or Court order overriding them — and breaches are taken seriously.
If you only have a verbal agreement or informal plan, you still have options, but the process you need to follow to get things sorted or clarified may be different.
3. Focus on the Children’s Best Interests
Even when your ex isn’t sticking to the arrangements, reacting emotionally can escalate things.
A helpful mindset is: What outcome is least stressful for the children right now?
This might mean:
- Adjusting handover times to avoid further conflict
- Allowing some flexibility if genuine circumstances arise
- Offering solutions rather than ultimatums
Remember, you can stand firm and stay child-centred at the same time.
4. Try Mediation Before Things Escalate
If you’re unable to resolve the issue directly, mediation is often the quickest and most effective next step.
A mediator can help:
- Clarify expectations
- Negotiate Christmas arrangements
- Reduce tension between parents
- Prevent ongoing conflict
Hickman Family Lawyers can help guide you on the best pathway forward, whether that’s mediation or through the Family Court.
5. If There Are Court Orders in Place, Document the Breach
If your ex repeatedly refuses to follow the agreed court orders related to holiday arrangements, document everything:
- Missed handovers
- Late arrivals
- All written messages or voicemails
- Any impact on the children
This information can be important if you later need legal advice or court intervention.
6. Seek Urgent Legal Advice if Necessary
If your ex is deliberately withholding access to your children, breaching orders, or refusing reasonable communication, urgent legal remedies may be available.
A reputable family law firm can advise you on:
- Whether the behaviour constitutes a contravention
- What steps you can take immediately
- Whether urgent court action is appropriate
- How to protect your parenting time moving forward
You don’t have to handle it alone — and getting legal advice early can prevent things from escalating.
7. Plan Ahead For Future Holidays
If Christmas holidays become a recurring point of co-parenting tension, you may want to:
- Renegotiate clearer holiday arrangements
- Formalise a parenting plan
- Apply for or update existing court orders
- Consider family mediation earlier in the year
Clear, structured parenting agreements reduce conflict and help create more predictable, peaceful holidays for everyone.
Need Help Navigating Christmas Parenting Issues?
If your ex won’t stick to your Christmas parenting schedule, Hickman Family Lawyers is here to support you. Our team of family lawyers in Perth can help you understand your options, protect your parenting time, and work toward a calmer, more cooperative co-parenting future.
Get in touch with Hickman Family Lawyers today for a free 15-minute information call to find out how we can help you through the holidays.
